Wreched (nonexistent) infatuation

Serían tan lindos caminando juntos de la mano en vez de lado a lado por el mismo sendero.

Serían tan lindos si dejaran de lanzar monedas a fuentes y las usaran para comprarse un helado.

Serían tan lindos adentrándose en las junglas de la vida, sabiendo que el viaje será largo.

Serían tan lindos cambiando de papel como de ropa: padre e hija, novio y novia, hombre y musa.

Serían tan lindos si pudieran arrancar sus ojos del horizonte y pudieran verse el uno al otro.

Serían tan lindos al abandonar su manía de crear ídolos de lodo y saber que lodo no necesitan.

Serían tan lindos si hoy se supieran solos, y en su soledad pudieran admitir lo que no podían.

Serían tan lindos en un tunel atrapados, incapaces de mentirse sobre lo que honestamente sienten.

Serían tan lindos creando un paraiso de la nada, disfrazando de sinceridad al mero apego.

Serían tan lindos si se amaran.

Serían tan lindos si se quisieran amar.

Wretched infatuation

Remembrance,
of sunlight on your face,
of your neck in my iron grip,
of unleashed rage in my...heart?

Do I have one?
Or is it as absent as my common sense?
As my sense of beauty?
As your own prettiness...

This obsession,
that cannot be called love.
For love makes you blind,
and love conquers disgust.

Disgusting, you are,
and yet, why me?
Why couldn´t I have fallen
for a beautiful being?

And I´d vomit my words,
just as I´d vomit the idea
of you being inside
that which so many call heart!

I watch your physique
and what do I see?
Am I that obsessed with frailty?
Am I that obsessed with self-loathe?

Wanting you in that way,
to the extent you help me stay alive.
Is it even true?
I don´t need you, not in that sense.

For, whatever I might tell to myself,
you are not required.
Your misery may be weighed,
But it is not weighed by me,
nor with my own.

Jealousy, I feel it.
And I may confess it
without anybody knowing
that it is because I desire you.

And I sing:
"That wretched anteater should not born,
nor that hectic shrew,
the one that you parade around me.
The same goes for the petty elephant,
which I´d gladly watch die"

"Tear apart the wings of my jay,
for I don´t want it to fly away from me.
Give me the shreds,
and I´ll feed my jay on them".

And I keep singing,
and I keep repeating to myself
that I am unique.
Only I could want you.

You asked me once,
and I couldn´t understand.
Was it a real question,
or is it just my despair?

I choked you once,
I want to do it again.
I can´t keep my hands
away from your neck...

You deserve your revenge,
and my madness will
not only allow, but is sure
to force me to surrender.

Gross, I know it well.
Infatuated as I am,
my pride, even my dignity,
I may be quick to sell.

So ask again
And maybe, for once
I´ll be able to understand.
And maybe, just once
A whisper,
No, barely a whisper
will come out,
just like me,
as a yes
as an "I want to"
as an "I always have"
and as an "I´ll always will".